人生当中需要后悔吗？[7月7日专题信息]

专题信息｜人生当中需要后悔吗？

7月7日

主日信息

朱志山牧师

经文: 耶26:12-13；林后7:8-10；赛55:6-8；路12:16-20

课题: 悔改与饶恕, 价值观, 恩典, 心理医治,

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试问我们有后悔过吗？后悔似乎是人之常情。有些人活了大半辈子才觉得人生一事无成，后悔虚度光阴。有些人失去了健康才后悔没好好照顾身体。或者有些父母看见孩子长大与自己疏远之后就后悔从前没多花时间陪伴他们。一个充满着后果的世界也同时充满着人类的后悔。当然我们每天的生活当中也有小小的后悔，如后悔买这件衣服，后悔订购这道菜，后悔说这句不动听的话，或者后悔选择做这份工作，或学生们后悔没将测验复习好。其实，人都不喜欢后悔、惋惜与自责的感觉，所以每当人一旦后悔之后，他自然的反应就是尽可能想要回转那局面，尽量做一些事情来纠正那错误。当然若能纠正过来我们会好受一些。但有些事情是即便后悔了也没有办法回转。例如：时光已经溜走了，关系已经破裂了，事情已经成为定居了。例如：结婚的人若后悔而选择离婚，之后必遭到更多的后悔；或者孩子已经长大了，我们不能强硬性的对待他们，否者会带来关系更加破裂。可能我们会问为什么神要许可这么多的后悔在我们人的一生当中呢？其实，神是要告诉我们两个真理。首先就是没有一个人是能完全不做错的，所以我们都需要神的怜悯。另外，没有一个人是知道他的明天，所以叫他今天遵行主的旨意活，以至明天无论结果好坏，自己的心会确定那是神万事互相效力的带领。其实，重点就在于这两点了。重点不在于我们能纠正那错误，或是让自己感到好受，以至不需再纠结。当然，倘若能，没有人不想纠正错误。但是最重要是我们后悔之后的领悟，不是我们后悔之后的反应。很多人的反应总是过于领悟，所以他们根本没有因着后悔的事物走成圣的路，只不过因着后悔学到怎么对应问题。许多人并没有因后悔更爱神与依靠祂，只不过因着后悔而掌握了一套技巧（例如：做事与说话的技巧）。这样一来，我们的内心根本没有真实的懊悔，且生出懊悔所带来的改变。为什么以色列人在旷野会倒毙呢？虽然他们探索迦南地带来了恶报，但神不是怜悯的上帝吗？祂不是那当人悔改之后，会后悔而不把所说的灾祸降于祂的百姓吗？《出32:14》。但是他们的后悔总是没有结出内心悔改的果子。所以，他们在一个情况被管教而后悔了，另一个情况又得罪神。这如同有一些人的生活条理、经济运用、人际关系等一直在问题打转。当遇到一个不好的结果了，心里的确是后悔，但之后的做法并不是谦卑自己听从神。在情况一改变之后又有同样的软弱出现。确实，我们的后悔要结出悔改的果子，才能看到新恩临到我们与我们所做的一切。另外也有一种人说：“我从来不后悔。我做了就是了，说了就是了”。这样的人不喜爱承认自己后悔或是陷入后悔的纠结感里。其实，这样的人看起来很有自信，但他是自义的，且是欺骗自己。从另一个角度来讲，他也是一个固执己建的人，给人的感觉也会过度的硬。当然也有另一种人是一生都在后悔，这样的人是非常的糊涂，也不知道主所教导他的。他在生活当中多半是受到变动的环境影响，不是按着原则来行事。其实，没有一个凡人能不受到后悔之功课的教导。神叫我们在后悔的过程中学习谦卑、顺服的功课，也同时懂得怜悯他人。

Have you ever had regrets? Regret seems to be a common human emotion. Some people, having lived most of their lives, feel that they have not achieved anything in life and hence regret living their lives in vain. Some people after losing their health regret not taking good care of their bodies. Or some parents see themselves distancing from their children as they grow up and regret that they have not spent much time with them. A world full of consequences is at the same time also filled with human regrets. Of course, we also have small regrets in our daily lives, such as our regret in buying a particular dress, regret in ordering a particular dish, regret saying the words that should not be spoken, or regret choosing to take up a particular job, or the students regret not preparing well for their test. In fact, people do not like feelings of regret, pity and self-blame, so when a person regrets, his natural reaction is to try his best to reverse the situation and try to rectify the mistake. Of course, if we can rectify it, we will feel a bit better. But there are certain things that even with regrets, there is no way of turning back. For example, time has slipped away, the relationship has broken, and things have reached a conclusion. For example, if a married couple chooses to divorce out of regret, they will suffer more regrets later; or if our children have grown up, we cannot treat them using the hard approach as it may further strain the relationship. Perhaps we may ask why God allows so much regrets in the lives of people? In fact, God is telling us two truths. The first is that there is no one person who can completely do no wrong, and hence we all need God's mercy. In addition, no one knows his tomorrow, so God asks that we live by following the will of the Lord today, and regardless of tomorrow’s outcome, we know in our hearts that it is under the guidance of God and everything works for the good of those who love Him.  In fact, the emphasis lies in these two points. The point is not whether we can correct the mistake, or let ourselves feel good or be untangled. Of course, if it is possible, everyone would want to rectify their mistakes. But what is most important is our understanding after our regrets and not the reaction after our regrets. Many people react more than understand. Hence, they do not walk a sanctified path after their regrets. They only learn to manage the problem because of regret. Many people do not love God more or rely on Him because of regret, but instead, have mastered a set of skills (such as the skill of doing things and speaking). In this way, there is no real repentance in our hearts. Neither are there changes brought about by repentance. Why did the Israelites not survive the wilderness? Even though there was a bad report after exploring the land of Canaan, isn't God a merciful God? If a person repents, wouldn’t God relent and not bring on His people the disaster He had threatened? <Ex 32:14>. But their regrets have never produced the fruit of inner repentance. Therefore, after being disciplined for a situation and regretted, the person lands in another situation which offends God. This is how some people’s lives continue to revolve around problems in the orderliness of living, finances, interpersonal relationships, etc. When he encounters a bad outcome, his heart will indeed regret, but the solution he adopts is not to humble himself to obey God. But when the situation changes, the same weakness appears. Indeed, our regrets are to bear the fruits of repentance, so that we can see the new grace given us and everything we do. There is also a type of person who says, “I never regret. Since I have done or said so, and so it is.” Such people do not like to admit their feelings of regret or be entangled in thoughts of regret. In fact, such a person seems to be very confident, but he is self-righteous and is deceiving himself. From another point of view, he is also a stubborn person, and he gives others the impression that he is excessively hardened in the heart. Of course, there is another kind of person who regrets for his whole life. Such a person is very confused and does not know what the Lord has taught him. Most of his life is affected by the changing environment, and he does not do things based on fixed principles. In fact, there is no one who cannot be taught after experiencing regrets. God tells us to learn humility and obedience in the process of regret, and at the same time know how to have mercy on others.

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